Well it has been a while since I have written on my personal blog again. However I have been feeling a little down lately and I think I need to write to pick up my spirits a bit again. I just been going through a lot of feelings lately. I guess I should start from the top, which is well I am just so immersed in my work I feel I am loosing more and more touch with my real life. I mean not that is a bad thing, but I am getting to the point that I blow off my boyfriend. I already lost one boyfriend, that I had been with for 2 years, it wasn’t only because I was so immersed in my work there were other reasons but this was part of it.
I don’t plan on getting out of virtual worlds, it is how I make my living and what I enjoy doing. But I have gotten to the point that I can’t even login to enjoy things, I am always busy working in the background not really getting the chance to enjoy myself. I work so hard and don’t get to enjoy what I have made other than the money, which is in and out of my hands as quickly as it gets there. I mean I make a living, and I am not in this for the money so don’t get me wrong here. I am just saying all this because I am coming up on my 21st birthday here in just a few days. I mean literately this coming Sunday is my 21st birthday.
I can’t say I don’t enjoy what I do for a living, in fact I bet many people would kill to have a job where they could work from home. But just a heads up, it is not as all nice and pretty as you might think! I mean it, am flooded with requests for support, service, and inquires all day long. I just recently switched to a ticket system because my email box was becoming a mess! I wasn’t able to keep up with who I have and haven’t spoken with. I mean it is not an easy job, and it is not a 9 to 5 job either. I am on call 24/7 because many people don’t want their grid, standalone, or region to be down longer than a few minutes let alone hours. My phone is always on and loud alerting me if someone sends me a ticket so I can wake up and come fix it.
Why am I venting about all this is because I really found someone I truly care about, and I want to be with them. He is someone who doesn’t get upset with me when I just randomly hang up on him or close out of a world with him to go help a client that is upset. He claims he understands and says work is first, but I feel so bad about it though. I say that because he is someone I care about, and much like a business a relationship has to be two people working together too. But a relationship we work for each others happiness and not me for just the client’s happiness. Now do not worry I am not going anywhere, but I am working on finishing up some work so all my clients don’t have to worry about so much stuff anymore.
Another thing that has been bothering me is that I took so many writing classes in school, even took a creative writing class. That creative writing class I wasn’t supposed to get into it because I wasn’t an honours English student but my creative poetry and short stories got me in. I mean it made me so happy when I made it, but then half way through I had to quit because real life got really crazy for me, and well that is another story for another day. But the fact I used to be so passionate about writing and now look at me I am stressing, working hard, and pushing my real life away because of my work. However all this may be, I am going to try and push for that balance back in my life. But still keeping my work top priority because well it is my baby, and I am not letting that tank.
I love and thank all of you who help me out each and every day, the ones who thank me for what I try and do for the community. If you knew half the shit I go through in real life to keep you guys all up and happy you guys might think I am crazy, but who knows maybe I am.
Love you all!